Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz — Practical and Mystical Aspects of Choosing Your Marriage Partner

What’s Wrong With Pre-Marital Intimacy?

Question: My boyfriend and I are becoming more observant since being together. It is lovely that I am getting so such insight into our religion, and we are slowly starting to observe the Shabbat and more mitzvot. Anyway here is what’s bothering me: my boyfriend is now saying that to make our relationship last/work we need to abstain from being intimate with each other until we’re married. Part of me understands his position, but I feel that intimacy is an important part of a relationship, and would create a very strong bond between us. I know that I love him [...]

What’s a Shadchan (Matchmaker)?

Question: Is there truth to the rumor that if you do 3 successful shidduchs (i.e. match three people with their future spouse) you go to the highest level of heaven? What is the theory behind it? And is it true that you are completely absolved of any sins you may have committed too?? Answer: I have never heard of these promises before, but nevertheless bringing soul-mates together is one of the greatest things you can do. Here’s why: 1) It’s the first thing G-d did after He created the world — He introduced Adam and Eve. So you are doing [...]

Is He the Right Guy for Me?

Question: Rabbi, do you give romance guidance? I am in a serious relationship with a great guy. We have been together for a while now and I have very strong feelings for him. He is ready to get married, and is getting a bit impatient with me. But I’m just not sure. Something is holding me back, and I can’t put my finger on it. Sometimes I think, if he’s my soul-mate, why do I have doubts? I don’t want to hurt him but I just don’t know what to do. Any advice? Answer: Finding your soul-mate is almost as [...]